President Spanky is currently holed up in the White House negotiating the building of a fence with his nemesis, himself (aka Agent Orange). He's going back and forth, playing the red checkers and the black ones, taking turns. Meanwhile the government is partly shut down.
Congress is at home, drinking eggnog and singing the songs of the season, while Spanky frantically tweets offers back and forth. He's promised to give up concrete and change the name "wall" to "steel oblongs," but Agent Orange won't budge.
Keep in mind that President Spanky is the greatest financial negotiator alive. He made a small fortune by inheriting a large one and losing most of it. Negotiating with himself is a can't-lose proposition on Twitter. Soon he will declare himself the winner and go home, where he dines on the best chocolate cake you can imagine.
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