TV mysteries

Social distancing has given me the time to reconsider the many eight-part mystery series Susan and I watch on TV. 

In these series, the writers start with enough material to last 90 minutes. Then they stretch it out for 480 minutes.

You know the kind of drama I mean. It might be American, British, German, French or Swedish. It opens with two kids kicking a ball, and the ball rolls into a churchyard. The kids run after the ball and stumble onto a corpse, usually a naked young woman weirdly bound to a crucifix or some such. 

Soon the chief detective arrives. Often she is an 80-year-old woman who, for some reason, has not retired. She has divorced her husband, however, but now he's her best friend and cooks special treats for her snacks after dinner.

Another crucifix murder takes place. This time the victim is the first victim's worst enemy. Meanwhile we learn that the detective's secretary rescues dogs in Kenya and one of the dogs has gone missing  When the detective hears this, she begins to weep. She's comforted by the mayor, who (we know) has stolen most of the city's payroll.

A married copper is having an affair with a darling young copper with red hair, and his wife finds out. He's stricken.  He's very dependent on his wife. Their teenage son gets arrested for selling meth on campus. Another crucifix murder takes place. The darling copper turns to a lesbian judge for comfort, but the judge understands that the young woman is on the rebound and gently disengages. A mysterious fire destroys the morgue and the key bodies. The coroner is strangled. By now we're into the fourth hour and braced for some padding.

Elmore Leonard once said that the key to a good plot is to leave out the boring stuff that does not advance the story.