The Art of the Deal

The American President, Agent Orange, knows how to tamp down a crisis. Elie Mystal clarified how the President manages to do this. His explanation went something like this:

1. The President announces to the media that he intends to shoot himself in the foot in four days. He buys a shotgun. The crisis begins to build. He loads the shotgun while on Fox TV.

2. On the third day, the President announces that discussions have been fruitful, and he has agreed not to shoot off his foot.

3. On the fourth day the President congratulates himself on his mastery of the art of the deal.