The Guilty

In a kleptocracy, as practiced by President Spanklyn T. Borderline Personality-Disorder (and crooked national leaders around the globe), the best part is the power to protect the guilty. 

As a private citizen, Spanklyn lolled about while protected by enormous inherited wealth. He could cheat the hard-working plumber with pleasure and impunity, because the plumber could not afford an attorney. Who could win against Spanklyn's 101 lawyers trained in legal abuse at the nation's most elite academies?

Spanklyn could crush a small business, trample a mid-size city and cheat anyone except the Mafia. 

Becoming President gave Spanklyn the ability to empty the offices of federal prosecutors. That felt great! He appointed an accused rapist to the Supreme Court. From the Oval Office he "sold" million dollar apartments to dozens of Russian oligarchs while lifting their sanctions. His extended family sold green cards to Chinese billionaires looking for dual citizenship. His cabinet contained one flagrant, graceless crook after another. 

But Spanklyn overreached. He doesn't live in Putin's Russia. Nothing in his slobby life of enormous wealth and privilege prepared him to cope with non-compliant people. Suddenly he can't have it all his way. 

His fear has always been that people secretly despise him, liking only his cash. Now they openly despise him, mock him every night on television; and certain implacably obsessive cops are staring at him and his family. He hasn't had a pleasant moment since 2016, except for the involuntary smile that lights up his pouting visage when he spots another villain on the dias. He can't help it. His mindless, loose,  prehensile lips curl in delight.