The Mammy State

On Sunday the Republicans went on the talk shows denouncing "the nanny state." I asked my ancient Republican buddy, Milgrim Icywalker, the Presidential candidate, why he disliked the nanny state, and he agreed to be quoted. "Did you like your nanny?" he  asked. "Of course not--that's why everyone despises women and the nanny state." When Icywalker says "everyone," he means the ones who matter,  ancient white males who went to Old Miss.

"I never had a nanny," I admitted, "only a mother, and she worked as a receptionist."

"All you need to know, Goss, is that nannies told us what to do.  They made us wash behind our ears before going to bed at the wrong time. They were hired to oppress young men. Women are fine people, of course, and someone has be school teachers,  but they're weak, timid and smelly by nature and bossy. A state run by women?--talk about the world turned upside down!"

"Nanny sounds a lot like mammy, doesn't it?"

"To be honest you might as well call it the mammy state," he told me. "I plan to run that by the voters in 2014."