Monday, February 4, 2019

One Hour a Day

According to the news this morning, President Spanklyn T. Borderline spends approximately one hour each day at work, followed by around seven hours of watching Fox News, texting, phone calls to yes-men, etc. The remainder of his awake time is devoted to eating franchise food and sitting on a gold toilet.

One hour of work a week is a heavy load for a man born as rich as Spanklyn. When he was younger, he needed lots of leisure time, of course, to chase the kinds of sexual mechanics who find $100,000 a night makes any oil change attractive. Once, when he was young, there weren't enough oil changers in the known universe to drain that wide Germanic crankcase. You needed special wrenches. Things weren't measured in inches. But all that ended years back. The man's gone dry. Now he can afford a Presidential hour a day to run the world.

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