Dumb Donald's Concession Speech, draft two

Dumb Donald's Concession Speech, draft two.

"Seth Myers lied that Ivanka got wait-listed at Trump University. He voted for Hillary. Think about that. Two liars. Hillary lies and she lies. That’s okay. I’ll tell you what I don’t like. Lying Hillary has divided this country so much, and the election was rigged against me. Some people were voting ten or twenty times. They say I lost Georgia, which is not even possible.  It’s so unfair. Guys, guys, would you remove that crippled child? Thanks. Imagine that--a crippled child, like I want a crippled child." (The audience laughs.)  "I really won the race—a lot of people have told me that. Most of them were trash. I love white trash. They have such trust in me. And many Chinese supported me. I do great business with them. Their biggest bank stays in my hotels. The Chinese get great deals from us, because we’re so stupid. We’re giving away the country. But I’m very close to China. Sometimes I’d like to punch China in the face, but don’t worry, they love me, and I never wanted to be President. Not even once. Running was a waste of my time and money, although, to be truthful, I made money from the campaign. The Republicans didn’t vote for me, but they paid my expenses for four months, and they stayed at my hotels and dated the many beautiful women who work for me. Ask Ivanka. I’m talking about good jobs for women. The Republicans gave me a free ride”—Trump smiles—“which is more than I can say for the women they dated."  (Audience erupts into guffaws.) "Sure, it’s sad that our country won’t be great again, but I’ll tell you what will be great. I paid Roger Ailes to develop my new television show. This production will hire the best men, the most beautiful women. You’ll see. We’re going to expose political correctness. Watch for me in the fall. You won’t be sorry.”

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