Paul Gullixson's Morons

Our sole daily newspaper, the corporate Press-Democrat, regularly publishes letters-to-the-editor sent in by morons. The editors do this to increase circulation. Moronic opinions incite rational readers to reply and encourage organized morons to buy the newspaper. Of course the newspaper cannot admit its true motives; this morning the paper published an official explanation for this troubling practice. "Because our fundamental belief in the importance of airing and confronting objectionable ideas--and our confidence in a reasonable public to properly engage the writer's sentiments--outweighed our desire to protect readers from dissent," editor Paul Gullixson lied in one of his usual sentence fragments. 

Mr. Gullixson manages to hint in his explanation that he does not agree with the morons who write in to say that it was understandable that 13-year-old Andy Lopez got himself shot seven times by a deputy sheriff because who can tell a toy gun from a real gun? (everyone I know?) and maybe the boy was cutting his last class of the day (what? what?). But if Gullixson believes that his rationale for publishing bat crap is convincing his readers, then he must consider us to be as moronic as his carefully chosen letter writers. 

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