Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Kardashians and Cardassians

People keep asking who the Kardashians, featured in Star Trek, are, so I have finally looked into the matter. The Kardashians (sometimes spelled Cardassians) are humanoid in form but have gigantic asses, which has led to their derogatory nickname as "spoonbutts." They evolved on a planet in the Alpha Quadrant from a species loosely known as "sand crawlers." Their skin is tan, and they continue to grow and regrow scales. Stroking the neck of a Kardashian female produces an erotic reaction. Also the females prefer to be filmed while enjoying sex. Some famous Kardashians include Gil Dukat, Kim, Elim Garak, Bruce Jenner and many others.

The Kardashians prefer to drink hot fish juice and eat larish pie and live, wriggling taspar eggs. Kardashian couples routinely snap at each other bitterly, which makes it relatively easy for them to comingle with humans. This species has photographic memory, which means, in this case, they remember every photograph taken of them. All Kardashian television appearances have exactly the same story line, an oddity to humans but one that Kardashians find comforting. The ideal Kardashian person is one that is perfectly normal, which is to say that he or she is totally lacking personality or talent or anything that makes him or her different from a talking manikin.

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