The other night, in a border state, a young Ms. Katie Quackenbush parked her Porsche against the curb near a homeless musician sleeping in a parking lot. It was three A.M. She and a woman friend were playing music on the car radio, so the homeless man, Gerald Melton, got up and demanded that they move. They argued. The homeless man then returned to his bed of cardboard, he claims, and the young woman got out of her Porsche and shot him twice in the stomach. When arrested for attempted murder, she claimed that she had merely fired warning shots with her eyes closed. Then she had driven away.
Her father is an attorney.
Moral: Never name your daughter Quackenbush.
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