A friend recently asked how Mrs. Trump would be redecorating the White House. We know that she’s named Newt Gingrich to head the committee, and he’s reported that she wants the front porch enlarged. “What sticks out in front is what people admire,” she told him. “I learned that when I came to America. The front needs to be much bigger and higher and painted turquoise blue the way Donald likes them.”
“I believe the place is more than thirty-five years old and wrinkled-looking,” she added. “The back end is starting to droop a little. Donald can prop that up. We have chemicals to stiffen the exterior, and cranes can pull the rest of the white paint job smooth again and freeze it in place. We plan to visit there, you know, and I should have the house camera ready within the first hundred days."
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