The Breakup

This is what happened. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I closed two lanes on the Golden Gate Bridge. We stopped communicating. When she took Muir, our cat, I had four cables removed from the bridge, and then when no one noticed or cared, I ordered the demolition of the Tea House in Golden Gate Park. Each step of this process was definitely part of a study the bridge authority was conducting and not because I am emotional like a little girl, according to my legal team of really old men, paid for with public money.