Apparently the nation finds it difficult to track the family and friends of Individual-1. This descriptive list of several major Washington players was compiled for the Secret Service.
Individual -2 Code Name: Vapid Under-Nada Blondie. Low hung fruit. Clear favorite of Individual-1 despite cheeks smoothed by claymation.
Individual-3 Code Name: Gold Digger Dullard III, formerly the Impaler or Spanker-in-Charge. No education. Speaks five languages, none well.
Individual-4 Code Name: No Shoulders Pencil-Neck Crook-In-Law. Dislikes Chris Christie and other forms of width.
Individual-5 Code Name: Lindsay Armband Whiteface of My-ladyfear. His positions revolve like a wind vane on Denali.
Individual-213 Code Name: Boiled Skull Grinning Mayor or, simply, Bozo. Constitutes proof of life after death.
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