Senator Lindsey Graham complained recently that people are spitting on him. That's just wrong. It aroused my compassion, certainly, but when I looked into the matter, no one near Graham had damp lips. He has presented no spitting evidence to date. He's been accused of lying. Also, why is he named "Lindsey"?
(This reminds me of Tucker Carlson's complaint that when he eats in a restaurant, other customers call out things like "Fuck you, Tucker," which ruins his meals of fried butterfly antennae. His response is to eat our of a can at home. Also, why is he named "Tucker"?)
In my high school, we had a potato-shaped vice-principal who walked the halls at every recess looking for potential truants, shouting, "Clear the halls!" He had a broad torso and a tweed suit, and some scholars would walk along close behind him and silently spit on the back of his coat. I'm just saying that certain lads developed certain skills.
I'd hate for anyone to think Lindsay Graham is a liar, so I am volunteering to spit in his face, thus proving his complaint well founded. Also, when he dies, I volunteer to pee on his grave.
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