Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that I never met Stormy Daniels. The photograph of me smiling next to Daniels is a fake that a child could make with a smart phone. 

Everybody knows the attorney who doesn't work for me part-time, Leonard Cohen, paid Daniels $130,000. You'll have to ask Leonard why he did it. Remember, I never met a Canadian. 

Everybody knows I said from the start that I had sex with Daniels once, but I had nothing to do with paying her hush money.

Of course, everybody knows I repaid Cohen in eight installments for the hush money he fronted, but I never had sex with that woman. Fake news.

Everybody knows Cohen has the facts wrong, but he's a great guy. He's getting up to speed.

Everybody knows about Sarah Huckabee-Sanders. This is a witch hunt, and I'm not the witch. Why aren't we investigating Sarah and Bernie Sanders? All I wanted was a long-stemmed rose.

Everbody knows that I've been discreet, but there are so many people I want to meet without their clothes. That's how it goes.