Gov. Christie's Morning

After two sleepless nights, Gov. Christie did not feel on top of his game, but he rose from bed, showered, brushed his teeth and went down to share breakfast with his wife. It was his usual breakfast: eggs, bacon. pancakes, raisin bran, prunes, corned beef hash, toast, oatmeal, home fries, and two modest pork chops. He said hello to his wife. "Good morning," she lied to his face.

When he got into his car, he asked his driver if his sister had called. "Nope," the driver lied.

At the state house, as he was entering his office, the governor realized he'd forgotten what day it was. "Is today Wednesday?" he asked his secretary. "It is," she lied to him. He asked her to get Bob, his campaign manager, on the phone. "Bob," the governor said, "how you doing, guy?"

"Never better," Bob lied.

"What's this stuff about Fort Lee? Do we have a fort? And Lee, what kind of name is that, Chinese?"

"From Taiwan," Bob said. "It's in the news. Why don't I look into it, sir?  I'll get right back to you," he lied. "Also, the money I borrowed? The check is in the mail."