Afghanistan, Mexico or Canada?

Somewhere recently I read an article in which the author wrote that if our goal is to build a sound democratic nation, gain access to oil reserves, fight narco-terrorists and free women from an extremely dominating male culture, we should pull out of Afghanistan and invade Mexico. I see a problem with that: global warming. Leaving Afghanistan is a good idea--in decades to come the deserts of the Middle East will likely be uninhabitable and no Israeli or Palestinian will want to live there. But invade Mexico? How bad will the climate be in Mexico? Meanwhile the San Joaquin Valley, the vegetable garden of the USA, is already drying up. Obviously we need to invade and annex Canada, where they have plenty of oil, a balmy climate (in the decades to come) and the Okanagan to grow our grapes. Also they have single payer health care. We'll need to adjust to people saying things like "hoser" and ending sentences with "eh?" but that's a small price to pay given the superb Chinese food available Richmond. (If you've never eaten Chinese food in Richmond, make it a point to visit.)