This morning I was watching four or five people talking about the Republican Presidential candidates, trying to figure out which one the voters were responding to. Take Rick Santorum, for example. He supposedly knows how to talk to working class men. Now can I say something about that? I grew up surrounded by working class men. Rick Santorum is a prissy faced sex-weirdo who wants women to keep their legs together. Believe me, that does not strike a spark among working class men. Mitt Romney is, as someone said, that rich SOB who sniggered while firing his cleaning lady (your mother) because she got to work late when her child fell ill. Ron Paul is an amusing crank you wouldn't hire to edge your lawn. Newt Gingrich--in his favor, he likes sex, but this pompous know-it-all is less a candidate for President and more a candidate for an atomic wedgie.
President Obama, an African-American Harvard graduate, is a regular guy compared to the Republican parade of freaks.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Whitney Houston Becomes a Mormon
Two of my best grandparents were Mormons, so I will not be shocked to learn that Whitney Houston has joined the faith. In the Mormon church, you can baptize dead people, and many Mormons do that for their loved ones or, out of kindness, for other dead people who might need help reaching the Mansions of Bliss. For example (no joke) Hitler and Stalin are now Mormons and so are roughly 600,000 Jews murdered in Hitler's Holocaust. It seems safe to assume that Julius Caesar is a Mormon, along with Pope John, Malcolm X, Theda Bara, John Adams, Kim Kardashian's grandmother, Edgar Allen Poe, Janet Joplin, Willa Cather and Mitt Romney. I'm not sure if I am a Mormon, but I am if my grandparents had a say in the matter.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Kardashians and Cardassians
People keep asking who the Kardashians, featured in Star Trek, are, so I have finally looked into the matter. The Kardashians (sometimes spelled Cardassians) are humanoid in form but have gigantic asses, which has led to their derogatory nickname as "spoonbutts." They evolved on a planet in the Alpha Quadrant from a species loosely known as "sand crawlers." Their skin is tan, and they continue to grow and regrow scales. Stroking the neck of a Kardashian female produces an erotic reaction. Also the females prefer to be filmed while enjoying sex. Some famous Kardashians include Gil Dukat, Kim, Elim Garak, Bruce Jenner and many others.
The Kardashians prefer to drink hot fish juice and eat larish pie and live, wriggling taspar eggs. Kardashian couples routinely snap at each other bitterly, which makes it relatively easy for them to comingle with humans. This species has photographic memory, which means, in this case, they remember every photograph taken of them. All Kardashian television appearances have exactly the same story line, an oddity to humans but one that Kardashians find comforting. The ideal Kardashian person is one that is perfectly normal, which is to say that he or she is totally lacking personality or talent or anything that makes him or her different from a talking manikin.
The Kardashians prefer to drink hot fish juice and eat larish pie and live, wriggling taspar eggs. Kardashian couples routinely snap at each other bitterly, which makes it relatively easy for them to comingle with humans. This species has photographic memory, which means, in this case, they remember every photograph taken of them. All Kardashian television appearances have exactly the same story line, an oddity to humans but one that Kardashians find comforting. The ideal Kardashian person is one that is perfectly normal, which is to say that he or she is totally lacking personality or talent or anything that makes him or her different from a talking manikin.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
GOP Baloney
President Obama is a Muslim with a deep commitment to Rev. Wright's radical Christianity, and he is waging a war on religion.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Black Bloc Anarchists
This might help explain a small corner of the news.
There are many kinds of anarchists, including Christian anarchists, nonviolent anarchists and so on. Anarchism is a set of theories, some of which are brilliant. For example, the idea that each child should have her educational needs met on an individual basis is an anarchist educational theory. The theory works--if your goal is for children to learn rapidly and happily.
If you pay attention to political demonstrations, you have probably noticed a relatively small bunch of guys in the major marches who attack buildings and smash things. Those are the Black Bloc anarchists. Groups like them have long been evident--I first met them in marches in the 1960s. They were the ones who broke windows as we marched and got us teargassed.
The Black Bloc anarchists are what Chris Hedges has called "the cancer of the Occupy movement." They are the dudes dressed in black who, after using the more positive Occupy people as human shields, break loose, attack property and confront the police. Of course the 1% savor this gift, this excuse to crack down on the 99%.
The point Hedges emphasizes is that the Black Bloc is deliberately destroying the Occupy Movement because they consider all organized movements on the Left as sell-outs. What the Black Bloc favors is petty vandalism, which they find romantic and revolutionary. Meanwhile they denounce unions, environmental organizations, Noam Chomsky (well, I denounce Chomsky but do not claim that he's a sell-out), etc. They praise the Unabomber's insane manifesto. The Black Bloc rioters lack common sense. They're like teenage boys doing 60 in a 25 mile zone, only what they kill is hope of change.
There are many kinds of anarchists, including Christian anarchists, nonviolent anarchists and so on. Anarchism is a set of theories, some of which are brilliant. For example, the idea that each child should have her educational needs met on an individual basis is an anarchist educational theory. The theory works--if your goal is for children to learn rapidly and happily.
If you pay attention to political demonstrations, you have probably noticed a relatively small bunch of guys in the major marches who attack buildings and smash things. Those are the Black Bloc anarchists. Groups like them have long been evident--I first met them in marches in the 1960s. They were the ones who broke windows as we marched and got us teargassed.
The Black Bloc anarchists are what Chris Hedges has called "the cancer of the Occupy movement." They are the dudes dressed in black who, after using the more positive Occupy people as human shields, break loose, attack property and confront the police. Of course the 1% savor this gift, this excuse to crack down on the 99%.
The point Hedges emphasizes is that the Black Bloc is deliberately destroying the Occupy Movement because they consider all organized movements on the Left as sell-outs. What the Black Bloc favors is petty vandalism, which they find romantic and revolutionary. Meanwhile they denounce unions, environmental organizations, Noam Chomsky (well, I denounce Chomsky but do not claim that he's a sell-out), etc. They praise the Unabomber's insane manifesto. The Black Bloc rioters lack common sense. They're like teenage boys doing 60 in a 25 mile zone, only what they kill is hope of change.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Importance of the N-Word
Quite a few years ago my friend and college roommate, Dennis Renault, drew an editorial cartoon for the Sacramento Bee in which he had a KKK member in a sheet using the term "nigger." The obvious intent of the cartoon was to attack racism--much as Mark Twain did in HUCKLEBERRY FINN--and thoughtful people understood that. Others did not. The same editorial board that had okayed the cartoon and published it, backed down as soon as some African American community leaders called for resignations, and the board issued a public apology. Seminars on the word "nigger" were held around the nation, including one on Long Island, 3,000 miles away. My wife attended that discussion, where she was told by an excellent African American law professor that no white person should use "nigger" under any circumstance. "The word is forbidden," she said.
That level of response was, in retrospect, childish. I mean that in this sense: children do not grasp irony. Neither did many of the cartoon's detractors.
That was then. Now we live in an age where a heavily racist term like "nigger" has been desensitized by rappers (at least for the young, who listen to rap). What I want to argue is a little different. I believe that "nigger" is the single most important word we know. Its contempt for other human beings points directly to the founding of this nation, which enshrined slavery in its Constitution. "Nigger" points to our original sin and one that we have hardly begun to correct.
Look at the Republican Party, home of those who claim that President Obama was born in Kenya, raised as a Muslim, graduated from Harvard without writing his own papers, etc. The tortured logic and invention of false facts dates back to the twisted intellectual defense that the South made of slavery. The South is still entrapped in rubbish. Many still believe that slavery was good for African Americans, a civilizing experience. Or they hide, as Robert E. Lee did, in the claim that the Civil War was not about slavery but was about states' rights (the right to own slaves). In fact, slavery was vicious and a curse that twists in our political system.
We need to repeat the word "nigger." It calls up a central fact of history. We would like to forget slavery, of course. We would like to forget the ugliest parts of our past and pretend that Robert E. Lee was a gentleman, not a slave whipper, but that would obscure who and what we are and what we are capable of doing again. We'd do better to keep our history in mind.
That level of response was, in retrospect, childish. I mean that in this sense: children do not grasp irony. Neither did many of the cartoon's detractors.
That was then. Now we live in an age where a heavily racist term like "nigger" has been desensitized by rappers (at least for the young, who listen to rap). What I want to argue is a little different. I believe that "nigger" is the single most important word we know. Its contempt for other human beings points directly to the founding of this nation, which enshrined slavery in its Constitution. "Nigger" points to our original sin and one that we have hardly begun to correct.
Look at the Republican Party, home of those who claim that President Obama was born in Kenya, raised as a Muslim, graduated from Harvard without writing his own papers, etc. The tortured logic and invention of false facts dates back to the twisted intellectual defense that the South made of slavery. The South is still entrapped in rubbish. Many still believe that slavery was good for African Americans, a civilizing experience. Or they hide, as Robert E. Lee did, in the claim that the Civil War was not about slavery but was about states' rights (the right to own slaves). In fact, slavery was vicious and a curse that twists in our political system.
We need to repeat the word "nigger." It calls up a central fact of history. We would like to forget slavery, of course. We would like to forget the ugliest parts of our past and pretend that Robert E. Lee was a gentleman, not a slave whipper, but that would obscure who and what we are and what we are capable of doing again. We'd do better to keep our history in mind.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Our Socialist Super Bowl
Martin Bashir pointed this out.
You might have noticed that in professional baseball, the same teams seem to win each year, the teams like Boston and the Yankees. They have the most money. Pro football is different. In football a team like the 49ers can be among the worst one year and among the best the next year, thanks to a form of socialism.
In 1994, the owners' and players' associations of the National Football League approved a salary cap. This cap is essentially a set amount of money that each of the NFL's 31 teams is allowed to spend on player salaries for the year. I don't know the real figures, but let's say that for the last season, the total amount of money available was $800 million. Divide that by the 31 NFL teams, and each team got to spend about $26 million. To oversimplify, each team gets what it needs; they start off even. Baseball represents the opposite theory: capitalism. The New York Yankees bring in a ton of money, so they get to buy the best players and pay them four times what a team like Oakland can afford. The Yankees hold the record for winning the most pennants. That's why rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the Bank of America.
Monday, January 30, 2012
The GOP Jumps the Shark
An expression in frequent use this year is "jumping the shark." It traces back to an ancient and sappy TV series called HAPPY DAYS and a character based on Marlon Brando's performance in THE WILD ONE. That character, of course, was the Fonz, Arthur Fonzarelli, who swaggered about in a black leather jacket, rode a motorcycle, and excelled at anything he put his hand to. In one episode of this long running sit com, the Fonz takes up water skiing, goes shooting across the ocean, encounters a large shark and jumps it. This ridiculous, over-the-top encounter was so silly that HAPPY DAYS never filmed another episode, according to myth. (It's safe to doubt that this jump had any real connection to the worn-out series ending as it did.)
So "jumping the shark" means going too far, becoming ridiculous and failing through excess. The GOP Presidential candidates, for example, have jumped the shark. Ron Paul demands we go back to the gold standard. Pretty Rick Santorum, fixated on gay men, has compared their love to "man on dog sex." Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the moon and make it the 51st state. Anchor baby Mitt Romney plans to treat 11 million undocumented workers with such cruelty that they will flee back to their nations of origin, particularly to Mexico, where his own father was born.
So "jumping the shark" means going too far, becoming ridiculous and failing through excess. The GOP Presidential candidates, for example, have jumped the shark. Ron Paul demands we go back to the gold standard. Pretty Rick Santorum, fixated on gay men, has compared their love to "man on dog sex." Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the moon and make it the 51st state. Anchor baby Mitt Romney plans to treat 11 million undocumented workers with such cruelty that they will flee back to their nations of origin, particularly to Mexico, where his own father was born.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Spinner Vs. Spinner
The most boring news event on television is two spinners confronting one another. This is what passes for fair coverage on CNN. The host gathers together the assistant chair of the Republican Party and the assistant chair of the Democratic Party, and the two of them recite baloney manufactured by their propaganda machines. No one learns anything. Nothing could be less interesting.
NBC has a cheaper variant. On MEET THE PRESS the nameless host saves time by inviting only one spinner, then takes the chore of the opposite spinner into his own oafish hands. When interviewing a Democratic spinner, the nameless host become a Republican spinner. If he's talking to a Republican spinner, the nameless host assumes the mask of a Democratic spinner.
The best defense against the mindless waste of time called spinning is to flip to a different channel. The minute you spot a spinner, flip. Look for panel shows where the participants are analysts or historians. Some panels contain spinners, so remain alert.
NBC has a cheaper variant. On MEET THE PRESS the nameless host saves time by inviting only one spinner, then takes the chore of the opposite spinner into his own oafish hands. When interviewing a Democratic spinner, the nameless host become a Republican spinner. If he's talking to a Republican spinner, the nameless host assumes the mask of a Democratic spinner.
The best defense against the mindless waste of time called spinning is to flip to a different channel. The minute you spot a spinner, flip. Look for panel shows where the participants are analysts or historians. Some panels contain spinners, so remain alert.
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