A TALE FROM LONG AGO
After two weeks Adam said he felt lonely in the Garden of Eden. It was like being lost in the woods, he said. Everyone used to fear getting lost in the woods. But you aren't lost if someone is with you. So Adam asked El (that was the Creator's original name) if he could have a companion.
El enjoyed a negotiation. He liked to argue. "So now you are afraid of trees?"
"Not exactly."
"Of course I can make you a companion," El said, "but it's expensive. If you want something nimble, amiable and female, that will cost you a leg."
"A leg? You want to take off one of my legs? I have to hunt and gather. You made me that way. I spend my life walking around looking for food."
"Of course. You need the leg. So what can you afford to give up?"
Adam thought for a few minutes and then said. "What can I get for a toe nail?"
"Pete Hegseth."
"That's not right!"
"If you're asking for certain unalienable rights," the Creator said, "you'll have to throw in rapid tooth decay."
"Fine," Adam said. "Fine. What can I get for a rib?"